Why are people so rude on the Internet?
I have witnessed many times, how rude people on the Internet can be and I have been the victim of very rude comments myself lots of times (interestingly more often on YouTube than on any other social media site). But why are people so rude on the Internet? Do they behave like that in their "real" life as well? Are they just brave enough, because they can hide behind a fake name or even fake picture? Or is this even a way to let their aggressions out?
Watch it also on Youtube:
One rude or unthoughtful comment can hurt a person so much, but what´s even worth is, that many times it is not just one comment. Often times a whole group chimes in and makes the situation even worse.
Often times the people that make the rude comments think, that they are the ones that say the truth and have the "right opinion" and therefor it´s their right to make just that comment. But is it OK to say something rude or mean- even if they think it is correct what they are saying?
Absolutely not. It is quite ironic that people that do that think of themselves of "speaking out about what´s not right". They actually think they are helping the world, because they see something that wasn´t right in their opinion and they speak out.
OK- if you haven´t witnessed anything like that, you might be wondering: what am I actually talking about? So, I want to give you some examples.
Just this morning I stumbled on FaKebook (that´s how I call Facebook- I don´t think I need to explain that?) on a video (an Advertisement for the FabFitFun box) by Kim Zolciak Biermann (you know from the Real Housewives of Atlanta). So far, so good. But now to the juicy part: I couldn´t believe my eyes, when I read the horrifying rude comments, that were below the little video.
Here a a couple of examples of rude comments made under the little video.
The comments go on an on, but they all have in common that they are very rude. In fact: I have only seen 1 comment, where a lady is actually speaking out that people are rude in the comments. And you know, when you comment on Facebook, your friends see that comment and they might join you and also leave another rude comment.
I mean, there is a big difference of saying your opinion in your own home- to let´s say your husband or mom- but behind closed doors! Sure, you can have your opinion and that is good! I personally don´t use Botox (read here why) and I also many times find people overdo it and it can make their faces look weird. But it is not up to me to judge anyone else for using it!
Everybody can do with their lives (or face lol) whatever they please- the same is true for Kim. If a truck-load of Botox makes her happy- so let her! Tell your husband, how ridiculous you find that, or even make a funny joke about her....but: do it behind closed doors! Don´t scream it out loud in public. And let´s not forget: these people are actually writing their rude comments directly on Kim´s Facebook page! She can read all those comments and will get a notification for each one! So this is literally targeted at her! She is a human being and I can assure you: this is painful for her! Nobody likes to read comments like that about themselves!
Of course I make myself statements here and there about someone´s looks to my husband or a girlfriend. But to write a rude comment like that in public on the Internet, where not only other people can read it - but also Kim herself can see it, is just plain rude behaviour. Like it or not how Kim looks- it really doesn´t matter! But do you have the right to talk like that about her in public?
Do you have the right to talk in public about someones looks, just because the person is a celebrity? I don´t think so. And as I explained above: rude people attract more rude people like a magnet and the comments get more and more, because every rude person thinks: "that is exactly what I thought too and so many think that too, so I want to join in as well. It seems right, cause everybody is doing it." And still...it is NOT!
You might think this situation can only happen to a celebrity- but wrong you are! My first really bad encounter of rude people was a couple of years ago, when I created a "Bollywood look". I had so much fun creating it and loved how it turned out. One day later I woke up to hundreds of hateful comments on my Facebook post (click to see all comments). It was truly unreal! I´ll give you a couple of examples:
And this one was basically I should end my life! That was ridiculous!
I could not believe it and felt sick to my stomach. People were talking about "cultural appropriation", which I admit, I hadn´t heard of before and so I googled it. These people thought that I had not the right as a white girl to dress like an Indian person. I cried and struggled and was very torn, weather to delete my post or not. Then I did what I thought was the only right thing to do: I excused my behaviour and explained also that I wasn´t aware of the cultural appropriation and that I understood. But that only lead to even more hateful comments. Hundreds of comments and they went as far as, that I should end my life! It was nuts! And I am not a celebrity or anything like that. At some point I had to block people and I also started deleting comments.
A week later, when finally the situation calmed down, I realized something awkward: most of the women that made a rude comment on my Facebook post, were black (can you even still say black or is that wrong again? The world has gotten so complicated!) Anyway: That was weird! Why were they offended by my Bollywood look so much- they had nothing to do with the Indian culture? Notice how many times they use the phrase "white girl" in their comments!
On the other hand, I had lot´s of Indian women comment, that they really liked my look! What was going on here? And how did these women even find my Facebook post? It´s not that I was so famous in the blogger world that everybody saw this. I started checking out their Facebook profiles and saw that lot´s of them had something in common: they belonged to a certain "group" (I saw they used all the same symbol)... and it was something that I (naively) didn´t even know exists: hate against white people.
Anyhow: these people are fighting for their rights and so they thought they do the right thing: "That look is cultural appropriation and we have to speak out loud against it". And so a whole group of people were bullying me with rude and very offensive comments in the believes they are fighting for the "right thing".
Kim´s situation is pretty much the same: people are commenting because they are against Botox, Fillers or maybe just haters or jealous people (sometimes I wonder if that is the same? Is a lot of times hate formed by being jealous of someone?) and so they think they have to speak out loud and say something.
Some of the women that left rude comments on Kim´s post could be my grandmother (I mean they could be age-wise- otherwise absolutely not, cause my grandma is kind!) I used to think that only the younger generation is rude on the Internet. Like women my age or even older aren´t rude on the Interent. Wrong! Age means nothing. People of all colors, ages, backgrounds can be rude on the Internet.
And let´s be very clear here: this is bullying. These people are bullies and the worst part is: they don´t even realize that.
But I say: they are wrong. Don´t be rude on the Internet. The Internet is public. Don´t embarrass yourself by being rude. Everybody can read your comment! Be kind.